25.09.2023 Reason

You can’t reason away existential dread and loneliness. You can try to explain it using “reason”, you can even succeed in such an endeavor. But that doesn’t make it go away. You may have an explanation that is “logical” or adheres to the laws of “reason”, but you haven’t made the feeling go away. You might feel better, but that also isn’t because of “reason” and the “logical” conclusion you have come to, but due to the process of coming to said conclusion. During this process you undoubtedly made mistakes in your reasoning, you ignored aspects of reality, you weren’t perfectly “rational” in considering all the facts. But still you followed through. What did you follow? Your longing for an answer. That is what makes you feel better/fulfilled for a brief moment. Not the answer itself, but the act, the process of longing for it. But this longing isn’t “rational”, it doesn’t fit into the epistemology of “reason”. You can again try and succeed in explaining it through the lens of “reason”. But once again, that won’t make it nor the pain of its absence go away. What we call “reason” is not the right tool. In itself, it can never lead to a solution, because the solutions there are don’t fit into its epistemology. Using “reason” to fix existential dread is like using a hammer and nail to stop the movement of the ocean. The longing inherent in the process of searching for a solution is a possible solution, and it is what keeps “reason” alive today. But why limit the possibility to legitimately experience longing by making a “logical” solution the only accepted outcome? Why not focus on the longing itself without going through the rigmarole of “reason”?

Because “reason” is exclusionary. The capacity for “reason” has been one of the most powerful tools of oppression in human history, rivaled only by physical violence. The ability to declare one’s own way of thinking as “rational” and others’ as less so is a powerful anesthetic to existential dread and loneliness. Reaching a higher state of “reason” than others of your kind grants you the right to oppress and control them, going even further: it gives you the power to influence the ways they perceive and understand the world, you and themselves. This power is near god-like, it is the power of creation. But it is still not the right tool, because it never fully satisfies nor fully distracts from your longing. But its momentum is what has kept “reason” alive for thousands of years. This momentum is now faltering, it is crumbling. The suppressed have and are speaking up, we have not forgotten our longing like you have, we are not numbed by power like you are. We speak in languages that you cannot understand, more importantly, that you can no longer universally declare (murder) as “irrational”. We celebrate and long for a multiplicity of solutions and voices, not just one unanimous, sclerotic road to “truth” about the world and (human) nature . Your voice is no longer the only audible one, but it need not die because of that, it can become one of many if you decide to question and let go its universality. If you give in to your longing, no longer letting it be caged by your ideas of “reason” and the steel bars of power, you might see why we speak up, why we fight, why we long. And maybe you’ll find that we’re not so different=dangerous after all. You might even feel the wonders of unbridled longing for yourself. I would like that.